Category Archives: values

Making it Difficult to Divorce

Our own state legislator Sally Kern is making the news again.  We have been told this past month that Rep. Kern has introduced House Bill 2279 that will restrict “incompatibility” as grounds for divorce in Oklahoma.

The bill would not allow divorce on the basis of incompatibility if:
(1)    There are living minor children of the marriage
(2)   The parties have been married 10 years or longer
(3)    Either party files a written objection to the granting of a divorce.

If Rep. Sally Kern is concerned about the sanctity of marriage, she is right to focus on heterosexuals  rather than the gay community.   The institution of marriage has been damaged by the choices and lifestyle of heterosexuals.  Straight people who are now concerned about their divorce rights, ought to be able to identify with the gay community who have yet to receive any legal rights with his/her partner.

Now days, it is too easy to get divorced but there has to be exceptions.  Many people are in and out of relationships like a revolving door.  I don’t think Rep. Kern’s bill will solve unhealthy marriages nor build healthy relationships.

I personally would like to see mandatory counseling before one can get married and before one can divorce.   Mandatory counseling and license to be a parent would be a good idea too!

© 2010

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Who Is The Threat to Traditional Marriage?

The following Letter to the Editor of the Oklahoma Gazette was written in response to another irrational commentary written by Rep. Sally Kern in the June 24th, 2009 OK Gazette.

Who is the threat to traditional marriage?
According to the State of our Unions 2005 report, 8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners. I am confused. I am trying to figure out how the Homos are finding these Heterosexual households and pressuring them to “live together and enjoy wild sex outside the bounds of marriage?” Shame, shame for preying on these innocent and vulnerable heterosexual partners.

The gay community is responsible for impregnating unwed mothers?
Same sex marriage isn’t legal in Oklahoma, yet ”forty plus percent of Oklahoma babies are born to unmarried mothers.” Who wants to guess how many of those unwed mothers are heterosexual? I am trying to figure out how the Homos and Lesbos are finding these unmarried women and impregnating them? Shame, shame, shame. Or might this be attributed to some heterosexual males? According to Rep. Sally Kern, “their bodies naturally fit together.

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gays are worse threat to America than terrorism…

I am sorry to say I live in Oklahoma where State Representative Sally Kerns believes that “homosexuality is a bigger threat to America than terrorism or Islam.”  While the following letter to Rep. Kern is rather lengthy for a post, its definitely worth your time. It was written by an Oklahoma high school senior.

drpers

Rep Kern:

“On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb that killed my mother and 167 others. 19 children died that day. Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would’ve likely have included one more. Over 800 other Oklahomans were injured that day and many of those still suffer through their permanent wounds.

That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in Islam. He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a body count. He held his beliefs and made those who didn’t live up to them pay with their lives.

As you were not a resident of Oklahoma on that day, it could be explained why you so carelessly chose words saying that the homosexual agenda is worse than terrorism. I can most certainly tell you through my own experience that is not true. I am sure there are many people in your voting district that laid a loved one to death after the terrorist attack on Oklahoma City. I kind of doubt you’ll find one of them that will agree with you.

I was five years old when my mother died. I remember what a beautiful, wise, and remarkable woman she was. I miss her. Your harsh words and misguided beliefs brought me to tears, because you told me that my mother’s killer was a better person than a group of people that are seeking safety and tolerance for themselves.

As someone left motherless and victimized by terrorists, I say to you very clearly you are absolutely wrong.

You represent a district in Oklahoma City and you very coldly express a lack of love, sympathy or understanding for what they’ve been through. Can I ask if you might have chosen wiser words were you a real Oklahoman that was here to share the suffering with Oklahoma City? Might your heart be a bit less cold had you been around to see the small bodies of children being pulled out of rubble and carried away by weeping firemen?

I’ve spent 12 years in Oklahoma public schools and never once have I had anyone try to force a gay agenda on me. I have seen, however, many gay students beat up and there’s never a day in school that has went by when I haven’t heard the word **** slung at someone. I’ve been called gay slurs many times and they hurt and I am not even gay so I can just imagine how a real gay person feels. You were a school teacher and you have seen those things too. How could you care so little about the suffering of some of your students?

Let me tell you the result of your words in my school. Every openly gay and suspected gay in the school were having to walk together Monday for protection. They looked scared. They’ve already experienced enough hate and now your words gave other students even more motivation to sneer at them and call them names. After all, you are a teacher and a lawmaker, many young people have taken your words to heart. That happens when you assume a role of responsibility in your community. I seriously think before this week ends that some kids here will be going home bruised and bloody because of what you said.

I wish you could’ve met my mom. Maybe she could’ve guided you in how a real Christian should be acting and speaking.

I have not had a mother for nearly 13 years now and wonder if there were fewer people like you around, people with more love and tolerance in their hearts instead of strife, if my mom would be here to watch me graduate from high school this spring. Now she won’t be there. So I’ll be packing my things and leaving Oklahoma to go to college elsewhere and one day be a writer and I have no intentions to ever return here. I have no doubt that people like you will incite crazy people to build more bombs and kill more people again. I don’t want to be here for that. I just can’t go through that again.

You may just see me as a kid, but let me try to teach you something. The old saying is sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Well, your words hurt me. Your words disrespected the memory of my mom. Your words can cause others to pick up sticks and stones and hurt others.”

Sincerely

Tucker

 

homosexuals are a bigger threat than terrorists…

The recorded remarks against homosexuals by OK State Rep. Sally Kern has set off a firestorm this past week. Rep. Kern said earlier this year that homosexuals are “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.” OK House Speaker Chris Benge said there are no plans to censure her or have her apologize.

An open letter to Rep. Kern:

“Dear Rep. Kern,

Your remarks about homosexuals being the greatest threat to America is completely outrageous and lacks significant substance.

I imagine if you and I met face to face, and you knew that I was a mother of a U.S. Marine, who has completed two tours to Iraq, you would express your gratefulness for our family’s sacrifice and your appreciation for his commitment and dedication.

How is it then, that this Christian lesbian mother who has raised a courageous U.S. Marine, who taught him Christian values, who took him to Church regularly, who inspired him to be his best in “body, mind and soul,” is such a tremendous threat to you and other Americans?

Has it ever occurred to you, that I am the woman that sits next to you in church,the woman who smiled at you as we passed in the grocery store, the woman who held the door for you as you walked thru with your cup of coffee? How is it that I create such fear in your heart?

I am just one of the homosexuals who raised sons and daughters to protect your freedom of speech. Rather ironic isn’t it, that you would use this precious freedom to insult the parents of these brave men and women, who otherwise have similar values to yours?

I hardly think I am a bigger threat to America than terrorism and Islam. If anything, your thoughtless remarks are very revealing of where the real threat lies.

Ms Kern, all of us make mistakes. If you take the time to get to know some of the fine and outstanding people in our community, you will likely realize the error of making such misinformed statements.”

Hopeful for an apology,

drpers

©2008

 

Pride parade or freak show?

In a Yahoo group that I belong to, an interesting discussion surfaced about the nature of this year’s Pride Parade. The response that follows was written by a passionate woman named Sarah.

“I will fight to the death for anyone’s right to free speech, including Fred Phelps right to picket faggot funerals… (his words with freedom of speech, not mine).  HOWEVER…. there is also a time and a place for everything.. and letting your butt cheeks hang out in public is never appropriate, nor is tweaked out crystal heads humping their boyfriend of the day, while the local tv films it and says .. oh look at what gay and lesbian people look like and this is what they are proud of…

At my age, and God am I starting to sound old, I want to give people a view of who we are every day. The less shocked they are at who we are and how we behave, the more we will be accepted.  I think it would be an awesome moment in gay and lesbian history if all the teachers showed up dressed to teach, the moms and dads who have children ride a float showing off their families, the firefighters and police officers in uniform, the judges in their robes, the lawyers in their suits and the doctors in their scrubs…. instead of seeing my local firefighter wearing ass less chaps and nothing else.

It is not a FREAK Parade, it’s a PRIDE Parade…. however, it has become a freak parade of nothing more than Drag Queens and Twinkies…. . instead of showing the entire community for what we are as a whole..

As you age, you will also realize you don’t gain acceptance for outlandish behavior, but normal behavior scares the hell out of the straight community. And if we give them the freak parade they want, then we have no one else to blame for the discrimination we suffer…
Fly your freak flag…. just stand over there…..”

(Posted with Sarah’s permission)  ©2008

 

Influencing your child’s faith…

Sometimes parents will say that they don’t take their children to church because they don’t want to influence their child towards one particular religion. There is one big problem with this kind of thinking. No influence means no choice!

If it is really the parents’ desire to remain neutral, the parent would take the child to a variety of churches or religions so that the child is familiar with the differences. This says to the child that faith is important, and there are a variety of ways to believe as well as act on one’s faith. Adequate information and experience helps one to make an informed choice.

To not teach a child about faith in God, is truly not giving the child a choice. Parents who choose not to influence their children when they are still dependents, have not thought through the results of their rationale.

Most parents, teach their children how to take care of their physical needs: change their clothes, bathe, brush their teeth, comb their hair, eat a balanced meal. Have you ever heard a parent say, “I don’t want to influence my child in his/her grooming habits?”

Most parents encourage their child’s interests, whether it be artistic, music, athletic or scientific activities. Have you ever heard a parent say, “I don’t want to encourage my child in any particular activities, I think he or she should be able to choose music, art or athletics when they are older?”

Most parents encourage their child to do well in school, do their homework, get good grades. Have you ever heard a parent say, “I don’t want to influence my child in their learning ability? I want them to decide how smart they want to be when they grow up?”

When it comes to nurturing faith in God, nurturing moral and ethical decision making, why do so many parents retreat or run to the hills on this issue? Is it a backlash to the rigid fundamentalism we’ve all been exposed to? Is it because parents were not adequately prepared as children and they pass this inadequacy along to the next generation? Are parents simply not convinced that children have spiritual needs too?

If you are a parent or plan to be one soon, listen up! If you don’t influence your child from day one till the time they move out, everyone else will! Their friends, advertising, TV, music, teachers, coaches, did I say friends??? If you don’t nurture their spiritual, physical, intellectual and emotional needs, everyone else will!!

There is no place for being neutral in this day and age! Your son or daughter is being bombarded with the values of others and our culture. You must be focused on nurturing basic life skills so that your child has the tools to make wise decisions and face life on his/her own. If you are going to retreat and leave that job to someone else, rest assured, someone will!!

why should children be nurtured in faith?

My aunt recently confessed that she thought she and her husband were too rigid in their faith when their children were younger. She said, “the kids would probably have gotten just as much from an occasional Sunday picnic as they did from attending church.” She recognized and admired that her adult children had more “balance” in their lives and more flexibility in raising her grandchildren.

My son had to go to church because I was a pastor and he couldn’t stay home alone. When I no longer preached every Sunday, we still attended regularly, but not religiously.

Why should you nurture faith in children?

1. The Creator of creation desires to be worshipped.

2. The Creator desires to be in relationship with humanity.

3. Church provides a disciplined avenue for worshipping and showing gratefulness to God.

4. Human beings were not meant to be alone.

5. A spiritual community is a great source of support and accountability.

6. Faith is a road map for the meaning of life, in all circumstances.

7. Through faith, we find hope and good news for all