kerry: “I’ve watched people in my life leave their partners because they believed they had fallen out of love. They believed that they just didn’t love their spouse anymore and they started to seek another person to fill that void. Perhaps as the years have passed, the passion has subsided and the old flame appeared to have gone out.
There is something interesting about this kind of breakup. After some time apart, or when the partner who was left, starts seeing someone else, something magical often happens. The smoldering fire starts to become a flickering flame, the heart starts to pitter pat again, jealousy is surprisingly felt by the “leaver” and “voila”, they reunite.
I am a firm believer, along with many relationship experts, that we can fall in love with our partners all over again. After all, there were reasons we fell in love with them in the first place. As long as a couple can look at what wasn’t working and make efforts to do things differently, the flame can rekindle in a healthy way. “
dr pers: “ One of the things that I use to say when performing marriage ceremonies is this: “love is a commitment, not a feeling.” You can feel “in love” this week and “out of love” next week. To marry or partner with another is to say: “I will remain faithful to you even when I don’t feel like it.”
It is very likely, that after the intense feelings of anger and frustration have subsided, you will start to feel appreciation, love and respect for your partner again. In other words, don’t do anything stupid until your emotions have leveled off and you’re back in balance. This may take a day, a week or a month. Love is a commitment even when you don’t feel like it.
Feeling “out of love” isn’t a good reason to break up. Maybe the embers just need a little fanning?