Monthly Archives: April 2007

Cussin’ in the presence of your child…

I caught a bit of the banter on Fox this am about a phrase Alec Baldwin used towards his 11 year old daughter.  Rosie O’D has jumped in the fire and admitted to using curse words around her children.

I would guess that almost every parent has lost her/his temper with their child….even me. While I have rarely used swear words, I can testify to the fact that once you’ve said it, the child will remember, throw it in your face and you can never take it back.

I do not remember the specifics, but I do remember the shock when my son reminded me that I had said “it.” The tone of his voice communicated that my cuss word had been quite impressionable. I remember regretting that I had uttered the word. It seems rather mild now days when compared to the blitz of the F & B words. However, I wish I had not ever used it in his presence.

The biggest question I have in regards to swearing in the presence of children and teens is this: is one swearing in their presence, or swearing at their children? Does it have the same effect? While neither is good, I believe one lends to greater psychological damage. Swearing at one’s child is similar to name calling. Words do have power… they leave an impression, they give a message. And in these situations, the messages are negative and destructive to self esteem.

I was in my late twenties when someone first used the F word toward me. I was shocked and it was very upsetting. I still remember how it made me feel.

Is cussin’ that big of a deal or not? Why has it become such an acceptable way to communicate in our culture?

dr pers ©2007


Ten reasons to marry or partner…

Ten reasons to commit yourself to another:

1. I promise to be considerate of my partner 24/7.

2. I promise to be faithful even when I don’t feel like it.

3. I promise that I will not accumulate debt that we cannot afford.

4. I promise to give in 70% of the time.

5. I promise to spend holidays with your family.

6. I promise to treat you with respect and encourage you in your dreams.

7. I promise to trust you and allow you the freedom to grow.

8. I promise to be a parent that our children can be proud of.

9. I promise to put our family’s needs before my own.

10. I promise to keep myself emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy so that I might give my best.

©2007 dr pers

Ten reasons NOT to marry or live together…

Ten reasons NOT to marry or live together

1. Feeling desperate.

2. Need lots and lots of sex.

3. Believe the other will change.

4. Need permission to go to the grocery store.

5. Have no money.

6. Believe the world revolves around you.

7. Over 25 and must have toys.

8. Top ten words in vocabulary are vulgar.

9. Uses “hey stupid” for a name.

10. Thinks “slap happy” is a form of control.

dr pers  ©2007

Five reasons to love again…

Five reasons to love again…

1. There is always hope. (Even if you’re older and I am a prime example.)

2. Time does heal, give yourself plenty. (think in terms of months and not days!)

3. Not all women or men are the same. (we’re all a little dysfunctional, but do your homework!)

4. There is someone, somewhere, who will appreciate you. (Don’t fall for the first one who winks.)

5. “It is better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all.” (Alfred Lord Tennyson)

dr pers  ©2007

That’s my boy (being thankful for the little things!)

When everyone else was standing up and cheering because their son hit a home run or just shot a three pointer, I think it was quite an accomplishment for a 15 year old to be able to walk gracefully in a shoe size that was almost as big as he was old!

If you see a tall, dark, handsome young man with a smile that causes hearts to skip a beat, that’s my boy! He wore his cap backwards which I kind of liked because I could see his face better. He’s got a great face and he should be proud of it!

My boy is the one with the few manly, scruffy hairs on his chin that he calls a beard. He wore those wide legged jeans with the crotch hanging down to his knees. I am proud that his pants have never dropped, or at least I have never witnessed it. And if they have, I don’t want to know about it. When one wears such low hanging pants, you’ve got to have cool boxers. My boy is the one with the trendy underwear!

My son is the one who would have a plateful of chicken, rice and green beans for supper. Half an hour later he was fixing two hotdogs. An hour after that…. a ham sandwich. Through all of this, 2 quarts of juice have disappeared. And then he has the nerve to complain that we never had any food in the house! Yep… that’s my boy!

Just as I was about to leave work one day, he called to remind me to pick up some food for supper. I agreed to do so and hung up. Before I could get out of the office, the phone rang and it was him again. He said, “did you hear what I said?” I replied, “yes, I will bring home some food.” He said, “I meant the other thing. “ And I said, “what other thing?” “You hung up when I was telling you that I loved you.” I stopped dead in my tracks.  “Yes ,“ he said… “ I called back to tell you I love you.”

That’s my boy… on his way to becoming a man!

(Dedicated today to my son on his  23rd birthday… while he serves his country in a second deployment to Iraq.)   ©2007   dr pers


Why do bad things happen to good people?

“When Bad Things Happen to Good People” was a popular book title in the 80s. It seems an appropriate title when Virginia and the country is reeling from the worst campus shooting in U.S. history.

Why do bad things happen to innocent people?

1. God allows nature to take its course, whether it be natural disasters, diseases or illness.

2. God allows human nature the freedom to act… deeds of good and bad.

3. Even though this freedom may cause great grief, God does not interfere.

4. Some people rationalize a tragedy away by saying that God wanted these loved ones more than their families.

5. Some people believe that through tragedy, God is trying to teach a lesson to the victims or their families.  Granted, new learning and growth can occur from tragedy, but this is not the God I believe in.

After the drowning accident of his son, theologian William Barclay said, “on the day that the waters of the deep surrounded my son and snatched his life, God’s heart was breaking too.”  This is how I view the tragic circumstances that happen to good people. In mercy and compassion, God’s heart is breaking when God’s children are in pain and sorrow.  This loving God uplifts, comforts, brings hope and healing to all of those who despair.  Our thoughts and prayers are with the good people of Virginia and their families.

dr pers ©2007