Will I love a child of another race?

After several delays of red tape and adoption papers not arriving in time (all too common), my mom and I changed our airplane tickets three times. Finally the day arrived and we excitedly flew to Texas to pick up this much anticipated baby boy.

I grew up in the Midwest, USA, where the majority are white, Scandinavia and speak “Fargo.” The minorities in the area were a few Native Americans. Since I had little contact with others of another race, I wondered what my reaction would be to this black baby that I would soon adopt. Would there be any difficulty in loving or bonding with him, or he with me?

A social worker in Texas met us at our arrival gate, exchanged greetings, and placed this dear baby into my arms. You would not believe how quickly, like an instant, my worries were over and fears dispelled. I immediately felt like his mother and he my son. Most everyone who has experienced a transracial adoption will tell you that love transcends race and color. Love also transcends adoption versus birth. If you have any fears that you will feel differently about a baby that is not your “flesh and blood,” I am here to tell you… it makes no difference. No one loves their child by birth more than I love my son by adoption.

Tip for potential parents:   No matter the color, the love and pride is just as great.

dr pers © 2007

Other posts in this series:

Reasons to Adopt

Hoping to adopt and they ask if you’re gay?

Surviving an adoption home study…

Choosing the health and gender of your child…

Next post:  A “real” grandchild versus adopted…

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5 thoughts on “Will I love a child of another race?

  1. cturpen

    Curious–did you choose a transracial adoption? Is it something you knew you wanted when you started the whole process, or was it something that fell into your lap later on?

    Reply
  2. downrightpersonal Post author

    cturpen,
    In attending informational meetings, they state up front the slim chances of adopting a healthy white child… the wait at that time was 3-5 years. Health was more important to me than race, and I did not prefer one race over another. Domestic adoption usually cost less than international. My goal was a reasonably healthy child in the U.S.

    Reply
  3. Pingback: a "real" grandchild versus adopted... « Downright Personal

  4. Julia

    I’d like to hear more of your thoughts on this issue. cturpen’s question was interesting — but your answer was even more interesting to me (as a transracial adoptee). Would transracial adoption be your plan B? Plan A being a white child — but the wait was too long?? I wonder how this plays out long-term in a family. This issue of “second best” in a way.

    Reply
  5. downrightpersonal Post author

    Hello Julia,
    I went thru the adoption process 23 years ago.
    When I went to large group nformational meetings, I don’t recall having my mind set on a white child. My good friends who referred me to their agency, were adopting a child from Asia. I was single and I did not know what to expect.

    After the informational meetings, talking with other adoptive parents, I decided this. Plan A was an american healthy child. If a white child with health issues or a major disability had been offered, I would have refused.

    I would have to say, I was Plan B for my son.
    It would have been ideal for him to be raised by an black mom and dad. But he wasn’t dealt those cards. Should he have been kept in the foster care system.. shuffled from home to home to home to home? What is the solution when a birth parent(s) cannot care for her/his child?

    I don’t think my son feels or believes he is second best in our family. He is an only child, the only one offered, and the only one accepted. If I find out different, I will have something new to write about!

    Thanks for stopping by, hope you’ve had a chance to read some of my other posts related to adoption too!

    Reply

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