When I told my son I was a lesbian…

Not many parents look forward to telling their teens about their sexual orientation, this was no exception. From the time he was little, I used books as a springboard to discuss sexual issues. Whenever he asked a question, I answered matter of factly.  I had hoped that this would lay the foundation for discussions or questions about sex when he was older.

I met a woman online and was becoming seriously interested in her.  I felt that it was time to prepare my son for some questions that may arise.

In his 15 years, I had not dated anyone.  With a busy career and single parenting, my life was full.   He was aware that I had been chatting with some friends online. I shared with him that one of them was soon coming to visit.

Explaining that I had been thru a great deal of soul searching the last couple of years, I finally had come to the realization that I was a lesbian.  He calmly looked at me and hardly reacted.  I told him that  the online friend was also lesbian. It was my hope that he would be friendly and respectful to her. His response was, “that is fine, as long as she isn’t interested in you!”  I smiled and said, “we’ll see, you might like her too.”

After a few days of nothing, no comments, I cornered him after school.  I said, “you haven’t mentioned anything more about my Canadian friend who is coming next weekend.  Are you upset, do you have any more questions about my being a lesbian?”  He said, “mom, if I told you that I was gay, you’d accept me.  Why wouldn’t I accept you?”    In my eyes, my son became a gentle giant that day.         © 2007   dr pers

2 thoughts on “When I told my son I was a lesbian…

  1. pistolpete

    You tell your story with a great sense of perspective and a loving spirit. I have no doubt you have taught your son such a spirit of acceptance.

    As an Evangelical Christian, I often struggle to uphold faithfulness to my thel standards of my tradition while also showing the love of Christ toward my friends and family who are gay (or lesbian). I try to do this with a sense of humor, such as in my recent post – “I’m OK, You’re All Gay.” I would love for you to check it out & tell me what you think.

    P.S. I love the heading of your blog.


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